The ceremony takes place in a specially decorated room with flowers and a beautiful and elaborately decorated spread on the floor called “Sofreh-ye Aghd”. Traditionally Sofreh-ye Aghd is set on the floor facing east, the direction of sunrise (light). Consequently when bride and bridegroom are seated at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd they will be facing “The Light”.

By custom Aghd would normally take place at bride’s parents/guardians home. The arrival of the guests, who are to be witnesses to the marriage of the couple, initiates the wedding ceremony. Traditionally the couples’ guardians and other elder close family members are present in the room to greet the guests and guide them to their seats. After all the guests are seated the bridegroom is the first to take his seat in the room at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd. The bride comes afterwards and joins the bridegroom at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd. The bridegroom always sits on the right hand side of the bride. In Zoroastrian culture the right side designates a place of respect.

Chinese Weddings
The invitations sent to the guest are wrapped in red gift-wrap, as the traditional colors of happiness and wealth are red and gold. Any gifts of money to the newlyweds are presented in red envelopes for the same reason. Gold jewelry – filled purses are also presented to the bride by women relatives and close friends to portray her new status. During the ceremony both bride and groom pay homage and respect to their parents and elders for the guidance and wisdom they have bestowed upon them. After the ceremony, firecrackers are lit to chase any evil spirits and demons away from the couple. During the reception the bride will be presented in typically at least three different wedding outfits.

Filipino Weddings
At a Filipino wedding, both the bride and groom have money pinned to them as people dance with them at the reception. Sometimes the families compete to see who will collect more. The couple, to symbolize their undying love for each other, will release a pair of doves, that were caged in an elaborate bell made of flowers.

German Weddings
A wedding in Germany could be a three day celebration!!! On the Thursday, the couple gets together with close family and friends to go to the city center to have a civil ceremony. Afterwards they all go out to dinner. On Friday, the real fun begins as the couple is visited for the Polterabend, or wedding-eve party, by friends and neighbors. The celebration entails the smashing of plates and other breakables as a sign of good luck (may nothing ever be broken in your home again). On Saturday, the newlyweds religious ceremony takes place, followed by the reception of traditional fare. Before the couple can sneak out of the party, friends place garlands of flowers, greenery and ribbons at the exits, the groom must “ransom” the couple out with promises of money or a party.

Indian Weddings
The Indian bride, after a ceremonial cleansing, is painted with henna patterns on her hands and feet. After the ceremony, the brothers of the groom toss flower petals to ward off evil from the Newlyweds.

The ceremony for a Hindu ceremony is to walk around a fire blessed by a Pundit, seven times. Fire represents the purity of the union. In a Sikh ceremony, the couple walk around the Sikh Holy book four times. Regardless of the religion, there are some things which have some variations, but are overall the same. While the actual ceremony is a serious affair, after the ceremony, traditionally, the groom comes on a horse arriving with his entourage making a lot of noise with an Indian drum (the dhol). There, the bride’s sisters exchange good natured banter with the men on the groom’s side and refuse to let the groom past to leave with his wife. This is to signify that the bride is precious to them too. Then there is the doli where it finally hits the family that their daughter is leaving the house for good, and is now the daughter of another house. This is a sad but beautiful ceremony. Some of these ceremonies vary according to religion and the region of India.

Japanese Weddings
Red, a joyous, lucky color, is important at the reception of a Japanese wedding. There are many toasts and speeches made by their elders and other honored guests about the couple. The reception menu could include Kai fish, the traditional fish of happiness, red rice, kelp, and sake wine (rice wine).

Jewish Weddings
A Bride begins her transition from single to married life by taking a ritualistic bath.

The wedding ceremony usually takes place under a huppah, or wedding canopy. This tradition began in the Middle Ages when a couple would wed outdoors so that the marriage could be blessed with as many children as there are stars in the heavens.

A traditional marriage agreement, the ketubah, is beautiful and ornate, and is signed by the couple to be displayed prominently in their home.

The end of the ceremony is signaled by the groom breaking a napkin-wrapped wineglass underfoot, in remembrance of the destruction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, and other Tragedies that have befallen the Jewish Faith. After the ceremony, shouts of “good luck” or “Mazel Tov!” can be heard from the joyous celebrants.

The hora, is a traditional dance of celebration, and is performed at the reception.

Here are several things to think about before booking your ceremony and reception sites:

* Size of your wedding budget
* Whether you want to provide your own food or caterer.
* Wedding theme
* Whether you want your ceremony and reception at the same location.
* What type of wedding you want to have.

Let’s take these one at a time:

SIZE OF YOUR WEDDING BUDGET
The most common wedding sites are churches, synagogues, private clubs, halls, restaurants and hotels. If money is a bit of a problem, however, you may want to consider these less expensive alternatives:

* Historical sites (call your local Historical Society for suggestions.)
* City, county or state facilities (senior centers, parks, rose gardens, museums, library or courthouse grounds, marinas, clubhouses, university or college facilities, etc.)
* Sites available through the Chamber of Commerce (private mansions, art galleries, Elks halls, privately-owned gardens, ranches or farms, yachts, botanical gardens, clubhouses belonging to gated or retirement communities, private campgrounds, etc.)
* National parks (such as Yosemite where you can be married anywhere in the park for a small fee.)
* Sites suitable for a very informal wedding, described later in this article.

The average cost of a ceremony site in the San Francisco Bay area, by the way, is $1,200, and the average cost of a reception site is $2,500, so you can see why many couples choose one of these more affordable options.

WHETHER YOU WANT TO PROVIDE YOUR OWN FOOD OR CATERER
Many reception sites require that you use their catering services, including the food, drink and wedding cake, plus their waiters and bartenders, their staff to cut and serve the wedding cake, their parking valets, coat attendants and security personnel. If this is what you want, fine, and many families book a site because of its fine reputation for quality food and services.

If, however, you would like to furnish some or all of the food and drink yourself, or if you would like to purchase your wedding cake elsewhere or, perhaps, you would like to use your own outside catering service, you will need to book a site that allows you to do so.

Fortunately, most of the less expensive reception sites listed above also allow you to have full control, which means that, not only will you save money on the site itself, but on the per-person cost of the reception food and drink.

WEDDING THEME
As I mentioned in a previous article, your theme will also help determine which ceremony and reception sites you select. If you have chosen a Victorian or Renaissance theme, for example, you may want to book an old chapel, an historic building, a castle or a restored B & B, or if you have chosen a Country Western theme, you may want to book a farm, ranch, a barn, or other outdoorsy country setting.

WHETHER YOU WANT YOUR CEREMONY AND RECEPTION AT THE SAME LOCATION
Often a ceremony site can double as a reception site, such as a church or synagogue that has a lovely indoor or outdoor facility for the reception. And, likewise, there are many reception sites that can double as ceremony sites, as well. In fact, there are very few reception sites where a ceremony can’t be arranged. For example, The Lodge at Pebble Beach allowed my son and his bride to be married on the veranda off “The Library,” the room where the wedding luncheon was held. There was no extra fee for the use of the veranda, and it turned out to be a perfect setting for a small wedding– with the ocean and the 18th green in the background.

Another way to have the ceremony and reception at the same site is to have a “Venue Wedding”. A Venue Wedding –sometimes called a “One-Stop-Wedding” — is held at a site that provides an all-in-one wedding package with a coordinator who makes all the arrangements for your ceremony and reception at one location. The package usually includes everything in one price — decorations, flowers, music, photography, videography, reception food, wedding cake and, in many cases, the services of an officiant, as well. It’s really a very simple, practical concept, especially for the bride and groom whose demanding careers don’t allow the time or energy necessary to plan a wedding from scratch.

It may take a bit of calling around to find one of these all-inclusive venues within a reasonable distance of your home. As I conducted my research, however, I found hundreds of these One-Stop-Wedding-Shops around the country They vary from hotels and resorts to inns, lodges, castles, mansions, country estates, B & B’s, cruise and yacht companies, private clubs, wineries, restaurants and various nature and wilderness venues.

Some of my favorite Northern California Venue Wedding sites are Captain Walsh House in Benicia, Horn-blower Yachts throughout the Bay Area, The Hyatt Regency Resort in Monterey and Quail Lodge Resort in Carmel Valley, which happens to have one of the most romantic outdoor ceremony settings I’ve ever seen.

WHAT TYPE OF WEDDING CEREMONY YOU WANT TO HAVE
Formal or informal? Religious or civil? Indoors or outdoors? Traditional or non-traditional? Morning, afternoon or evening wedding? Number of guests?

Although many couples do not consider themselves to be “religious,” 75 percent of all weddings in the United States are considered to be so, although you may choose to have a civil ceremony instead.

When it comes to formality, 51% of brides age 18 to 25 choose a “formal” wedding, as do 33% of brides age 26 to 35 and 14% of brides over 35 years of age. Obviously, the older the bride, the more informal the wedding.

Speaking of informal weddings, as I was researching for the “Hassle Free” book, I discovered that, because over 30 percent of all marriages today are second or third marriages, many of these couples prefer a less-traditional wedding. They feel that when they were married the first time, they had already “been there, done that,” and now they want a more relaxed, stress-free, FUN wedding. These are a few of the informal weddings I “happened upon” during my research:

* Beach party wedding
* A patio/pool party wedding
* A picnic-in-the-park wedding
* A wedding aboard a houseboat
* Surprise weddings during family get-togethers, including a family reunion, 4th of July picnic, Thanksgiving day,
* Christmas eve and Christmas day, and during their grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary party.
* Surprise weddings during parties, including a Valentine’s party, an engagement party, a co-ed shower, a New Year’s Eve party and a singles’ club party. There was even one couple, who were little theater cast members of “Annie Get Your Gun,” who were married as a surprise during the final curtain call after their last performance of the season.
* On top of a Ferris wheel at an amusement park.
* On top of a billiards table. (The couple wanted to get married on top of the billiards table at the sports bar where they met. The entire wedding party managed to climb on top of the table — looked pretty crowded to me!)
* In a ’56 Chevy convertible during a Classic Car Show.
* At center rink before the start of a professional hockey game (the couple skated under an arch created by the hockey players’ crossed hockey sticks.)
* At the top of a ski lift.
* While sky diving
* On the Internet

Finally, once you’ve decided on your sites, these are the questions you should ask before signing on the dotted line:

Ceremony Site:

* Fees?
* Equipment available (kneeling bench; sconces; candelabra; aisle runner; pew hangers; arch; floral baskets)?
* Services available (organist, altar boys; choir; pre-recorded music; sound system)?
* Restrictions (no smoking; no rice; no cameras during ceremony; no aisle runner; no elaborate decorations; cannot write your own vows; guests not allowed to applaud during recessional; must be married by one of their officiants; must have pre-marital counseling by their staff; must employ their wedding coordinator)?
* Dressing rooms available?
* What other events taking place that day?
* Adequate parking?
* Existing decor that can be used during the ceremony?
* Exactly what hours will the facility be available (allowing time to decorate)?

Reception Site:

* Fees?
* Equipment available (tables; chairs; linens; table skirts; utensils; serving dishes; coffee pots; punch bowl, etc.)?
* Services available (wait staff; parking valet; security personnel)?
* Restrictions? (no smoking; no rice; no confetti; cannot affix decorations to walls/ceilings; musical restrictions; cannot furnish your own food, drink, wedding cake, cake cutters, bartender, caterer, etc.)?
* If you are required to use their catering and staff services, exactly what will their fees include (in detail)?
* Adequate parking?
* Dressing rooms available?
* What other events taking place that day?
* Exactly what hours will the facility be available (allowing time to decorate)?

Good luck to you as you search for your perfect ceremony and reception sites.

Planning and hosting a backyard wedding and reception can be very enjoyable and to some degree less expensive. A great deal of the plan is very much like a backyard party. It gives you several freedoms yet, can add to your frustrations and work list. The following guidelines may help.

Decide why you want to host this in a backyard. It is usually comparable to an inside wedding. Add up your costs and figure out if you would be spending less at a local hall or church. If you are hosting this in a backyard because it is lovely, well suited to celebrations, a special memory, or you are planning to use the hall funds on a landscaping project goal, then maybe this is a very wise decision.

Early Considerations

*  Does your yard size and number of guests work well? Tables, chairs, a ceremony area are all part of the plan.
*  Will your neighbors be a problem about the noise for the day?
*  Is there a parking problem or can you bring people in on a shuttle from a nearby parking area?
*  Draw out the design of the yard and place items such as; tables, shade, dancing area and ceremony area are going to be.
*  Gauge the time of year for the best weather conditions yet still prepare for heat with umbrellas and an alternative area of tent or indoor if it does rain.
*  Make a list of the party rentals you require; tables, chairs, extra power, lighting, dishes and serving Items etc.
*  Do you have a focal point for the ceremony large enough for people to sit or stand and watch the ceremony?
*  Are there any animals who will get into your food or be underfoot?
*  Does the yard enjoy easy access from the kitchen and serving areas for food?
*  Will the toilet facilities hold up for the extra guests, or will you require porta-potties?
*  Understanding that the laws which govern events and alcohol for your county may require permits and added insurance on the property for the event.
*  Check out the nuisance issues in the neighborhood: Are their planes flying overhead, does the dog bark incessantly next door, do you have a rude neighbor, and is there an engine repair shop next door?
*  Do you live in a buggy area? An evening wedding and reception with June bugs or flies landing on food spoils the ambience.

BENEFITS
* You can have a choice of caterer, pot luck, or your family creating the foods
* A memorable and different backdrop than a hall or event location
* You have no in and out time limits, except for county restrictions and noise curfews.
* The ability to SERVE all types of alcohol and drinks (if you sell drinks, you must have an ABC permit).
* The ability to hold unique themes and ceremonies.

Things to Help Get the Project Going and Keep It Moving
* It is important to create a project timeline and stick to it.
* Keep a list of who is responsible for what and remember, “Mom should not be creating deviled eggs for three hundred guests the day before the wedding — nor serving the day of.” Get some HELP.
* Delegate the responsibilities for: Getting the property ready (lawns, flowers, decorations, foods, serving and keeping the platters filled, plus cleanup) is part of the process.
* Ask each of the professionals you hire, what they require in regard to electricity and where they will be on the property? Have enough wiring so when it is all going at one time, you do not blow a fuse.

Your Invitations Should Include
* Knowledge that this is being done at the private home of”……………………….” with the exact address, time and place of the ceremony/reception or exact address of each site when they are different.
* A map on how to get there is vital and where to park their cars.

Ceremonies
The focal point can be embellished with an arch of flowers and ribbons or a canopy decorated with ribbons, banners, vines/ivy. Herbs, wild flowers, vineyard vines and grapes are often used. We do see people grow a sunflower circle in their yards for the occasion (begin early for an autumn stand). Also corn husks and wheat provide fall decor. If you have a gazebo in the yard that is a lovely focal point, remember to canvas a lattice roof or the couple will be checkered in the photos. Butterfly and Dove releases after the “I dos” are especially beautiful.

Choosing Your Garments
Outdoor events do require breathing fabrics such as summer satin, airy tulle and styles of strapless that are in. Men’s wear should allow the guys after the ceremony to take off jackets and enjoy a vested formal look. Remember your sun blocks. Misters and ladies bring items to refresh yourselves. Include make-up and hair if it is warm or windy.

Clues:
* Cakes are fragile and should not be left in the sun (preferably kept indoors as long as possible). The cake table should always be set with nice linens and fresh serving plates, forks and napkins.
* Ask your servers to please clear plates etc, when the guest is complete with the meal.
* Nice linens and covered chairs ( or chairs that all look the same) add an elegance to a wedding and reception. Sometimes this can be a relaxed atmosphere with no head table for the bridal party.
* If you put the foods outside under a latticed area, the shade will cause a checkered effect on everything and the photographs will show this when they come back.
* When your yard is smaller than your reception guest list, make it more of an open house (for a flexible time concept).
* Choose flowers which hold up well in the heat of the day
* Foods and servers should be shaded. Ice carvings melt fast. Always have plenty of water and ice.
* Using rose petals and/or edible flowers brings the garden into the theme.
* Misters and outdoor heaters can be rented from party rental companies.
* Take a walk-through of your serving areas. Look at what your photographers will see through a camera lens. Make corrections to backdrops as needed or when possible.
* Have a Nanny or someone in charge of the children with games and play area. Safety secured around a pond or stream. Understandably, children are drawn to water.
* Have a first aid kit in the kitchen and a fire canister on hand. Post emergency numbers next to the phone.
* Have a special area for changing diapers in the house (far from view of the guests).
* Have a special area for coats and purses with someone to keep a watchful eye.